Hung is a 46 year old Vietnamese man who has come to see a counsellor in the local community health centre, about his self-described inability to understand his 19-year old twin son and daughter. Widowed five years ago, Hung believed he was coping well until his children went to university and, in his words, ‘became different people with different values’. When Hung’s wife became ill and subsequently died, Hung believed his family became even closer as they supported each other. He remembers how the twins seemed content to stay at home with him, studying and relaxing together. This lasted until they were accepted at different universities, and for the first time the family unit was split. Although both children still live at home, they are constantly out with their new-found university friends. According to Hung, many of these friends have different cultural and moral values to those of his family, and he fears his children are adopting these values more and more. This is causing him to impose stricter rules, but the children are increasingly ignoring his requests and subsequent demands. He feels alone and helpless to deal with this latest change in his life, and is finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate at work. Recently his employer noticed his lack of focus, and suggested Hung ‘do something about it’ before he makes a major mistake at work. His employer is supportive, but does not understand the family-related distress Hung feels over the changes in his almost-adult children. Hung acknowledges that his normal method of coping is to just get on with things, but this is no longer working and he does not know how to deal with the increasing feelings of lack of control. He also describes difficulty getting to sleep, and a loss of interest in food now that the children are rarely home for the evening meal.
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