Hello iPwnAge!
I had to create a very simple and fast browser / device detector for a different project.
It is a lightweight static class (few hundred lines with only the necessary items) based on the user agent string. It is able to detect the OS, platform, browser.
I wrote it, because it is used on a high-traffic site and the PHP built-in detector was too slow for the job.
Be aware user-agent strings can be faked, but for the regular customers it just works as it should.
The built-in one is much more precise, but we needed speed over precision (on some servers the built-in agent-detector takes 0.4 sec to run, that is simply not acceptable).
Few hours of tailoring and it should be very easy to integrate with your system.
It is pretty simple, so extending is easy if you need different functionality.
If you are interested, please contact me.
Best regards,
Ádám Fibinger