As a parent and a teacher, I must admit that I still love children's books. Young readers, just like adults, want to experience everything that happens to the literary protagonist - see the sights, hear the sounds, feel the emotions - and every abstraction needs to be made concrete.
I am used to communicating with children of this age, and I can produce clear, correct, age-appropriate language quickly. I have posted a few samples of my fiction in my portfolio, which you are of course invited to browse; but I think your own request for bidders to reword your sample paragraph is in fact the best possible test of suitability.